Bush Family's Hard Line on Masturbation to be Leader in 3 States

Alabama: illegal if it's artificial
In the US, laws vary from state to state. In 2009, the supreme court of Alabama outlawed the sale of "any device designed … primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs" in an effort to target sales of masturbation machines.

North Carolina: criminal record
In the city of Charlotte, being caught masturbating in public is a class 3 misdemeanour. Luckily a local attorney is on hand with advice that includes asking the right questions: "Stroking? Ejaculation? Does the defendant have a clean record?"

Texas: two years in prison
According to the Tribune Herald, a new measure which will come into force on 1 January 2014 will make many forms of male masturbation illegal. "Exceptions include sperm donations, which now must only be performed at a designated hospital facility."

Texas has already been gripped by a mass debate about onanism after Michael Burgess, a member of the house of representatives, claimed that abortion should be banned at 15 weeks because that is the age at which male foetuses are able to masturbate.